Here I Go Again (On My Own)

Haircut is over and done with and I now looked "groomed" according to several witnesses. Think "current-day Desmond from Lost" and you are probably not too far away. I look about 5 years younger!

Had a proper disagreement with my mum at work today; this is the first time it's ever properly happened. The reason being today she made a decision which I know will come back and cause more trouble than it's worth. It's happened before about several things that I've warned her about and this is no exception. Even the other boss venomously tried to dissuade my mum but it didn't happen. All I hope is that it's cost us too much time and money-lost enough of both last year thankyouverymuch.

And that's about all the report today really...off to do some recording now.

I'm booked in for a hair cut tomorrow at 9:30am. Am slightly nervous although it looked good last time I had it done!

Today I think I may have met the female equivalent of myself. Potential tenant for the next academic year called SF; whilst walking and chatting to one house she made a comment regarding the temperature in our office and asked if we wore bikini's in summer. Then was immediately embarrassed. This is the female equivalent of the stupid kind of things I say when talking to ladies I find attractive!

And the girls in the office didn't believe me when I told them about it! Even when I said the dumb thing that is todays title!

Oh-my watch turned up in the post first thing this morning. Very impressed!

Have just written a great song entitled "Out Of Control"! I'm definitely in a songwriting phase at the moment, and, unlike some phases of the past, this seems to be yielding more consistently good songs! Certainly I'll play them all for RM and see what he thinks.

Other good news is that I am trying out as singer for an indie covers band next week which is exciting and terrifying in equal measures.

CE (yes I learned her surname) found me on the facebook. I accepted. I think I may come to regret this decision but I'm not renowned for ever doing the right thing so this doesn't surprise me. In fact, the aforementioned "Out Of Control" is entirely about me being out of control and destroying things-usually unnecessarily! Not always mind you.

Anyway, my favourite line in the song is "give me everything and let me tear it apart"; which is how I feel sometimes-I'm incredibly lucky in certain respects and often/sometimes I simply push the results of that luck away and I don't always know why. Sometimes I listen to my instincts; in fact they have very rarely let me down-it's usually fate that does that!

I don't have any answers today. I don't even know the right questions to ask.

P.S. The random girl who ended up with my watch texted me today to ask if I wanted it back! I don't deserve that kind of karma right now! But I am very grateful!

I'm not sure how we manage it but CA and I have some awesome but random nights out. Friday was relatively uneventful apart from me telling Zana that my new years resolution was to only talk to her when she was drunk too!

Then yesterday we went to York; started drinking at 4pm. Managed to join a 50th birthday party for a while. Learned there are 365 pubs in the greater York area and vowed to go to them all (before catching the train back at 9:10!).

Failed! But we did go to 9 bars which was pretty good going. Stuck to beer or rum n coke apart from having a French Martini in Evil Eye. Which was really nice to be honest!

Anyway, got the last train back tot own then hit the town. Managed to find a squaddie, his sister, his "cousin" and their two friends. Took them out on a tour of the town, in return they got us lots of booze and Rob (the squaddie) decided he was going to help me pull by giving me confidence! Which, to be fair, he was pretty good at. As was his "cousin". I put "cousin" because they would get off with each other later and in fact go home together-sadly taking my $3 Vietnamese Casio digital watch with her.

Actually I told them it wasn't my confidence that needed improving (which was blatantly a lie!) but a decision I'd made not to let anyone get close.

Anyway, CA and I continued to get incredibly drunk. Ran into an old friend, LG, who was really pleased to see me! I rarely see her nowadays but whenever I do she's usually in a bad, or non-communicative mood. But last night she was what I'd call normal for her which was good. I take things far too personally so I'd always thought I'd offended her in some way but I guess not! Anyway; she proudly claimed to be "sober by choice" to which I laughed and said I was "drunk by choice! Oh how the tables have turned!".

Also saw LM again. I used to seeing her about once a year too but have now seen her twice this month. I used to be stored in her phone as "MyFirstName Fantastic!". But she'd deleted me. I too had deleted her though so I told her to ESP me next time she's out. Foolish! But then I'm assuming she is still with her husband/bf (can't remember if she's married or not!).

Anyway; I had the sex last night. First time this year and it was with a girl called C.....actually I don't even know her surname! She is a massive Bon Jovi fan (as I am!) and she actually didn't believe me until I listed the shows I'd been to; played some of their songs on guitar and played her some demos and rarities she hadn't heard before. Apparently many men claim to be Bon Jovi fans when chatting her up.

She's actually just left. Unfortunately I have today found out that she is a bit dim. Nice but I fear I may have just added another one night stand to my list. Relationship sex stills outweighs ONS but this had tipped the balance a bit...she is number 13 too which isn't a good sign!

Warning-there may be mild Lost spoilers here.....

.....so having just watched the first two episodes of Season 5 of Lost one thing is clear; more questions are coming! And we're going down the time travel route this season. There goes my purgatory theory anyway.

I like Lost; I almost walked away after the poor season 3; when the first flash-forward occurred right at the end I figured "hey-they get off the island! I can stop watching now" but season 4 definitely picked up and I am very glad the is a definite end coming at the end of season 6. The thought of it dragging on forever scared me and I would have walked.

My car somehow passed its MOT today which means I can return the rental car

Last night I wrote a cool song called "Question Everything". My idea for the demo is that it starts really simple, i.e. just the four notes that make up the chord sequence (G, D, Am, C) and it builds and builds and builds; I have about 15 verses and I plan to try and add a layer to every verse. Not sure how it'll sound in the end but it'll be interesting to try.

So it seems CM is slowly working her way through my circle of friends; classy! She has definitely slept with AB, CA and SF since I sent her packing and she was spotted on friday night with some "peripheral" friends of mine. AB found out that she stopped counting how many guys she'd slept with after 50 and that this was during her teens; she's 34 now!

I am now very glad that our relationship wasn't sexual! I told CA that if he hadn't been careful he might want to get a little test done at a certain clinic.

Interestingly ST did exactly the same thing after we broke up; again the decision to end it was mine. In fact, I'm been dump-or much more than I have been dump-ee; a ratio of 2:1 (with 3 honorable mentions for the joint decision ones, i.e. when they were leaving the country!). What one makes of this fact I have no idea.

Heard the new U2 single "Get On Your Boots" this morning. The first version I heard sounded dreadful! It has been recorded in a very low bitrate from a streamed Irish radio station and was terrible quality! I then found out you can listen to a higher quality version on the U2 website and now I really like the song and can't wait for the album (No Line On The Horizon; out 2nd March)! It sounds not unlike previous singles Elevation and Vertigo tbh-definitely a good thing.

Also, I have written a new song entitled "MI" which is shaping up nicely as another rocker. Although it is another comedy song-before last year I think I had only written one comedy song (called "The Queen Of Friday Night") but I seem to be churning them out at the moment. Probably because I pretty happy and content really and don't have much to complain about (i.e usually whomever I'm dating!)....anyway this new song is about my relationship with LT-for some reason she makes me say completely inappropriate things!

Actually it's because I find her stunningly attractive and my stupid brain feels the need to fill gaps/silence with words. And when I'm drunk sometimes they can be slightly rude or suggestive to say the least. But I don't do this with *anyone* else! Even other women I find attractive! I don't know what it is about her.....

Had a great night out in M last night, CA came with as usual but AW also joined in for a change. Granted the "cocktail" party was a little bit of letdown as I was the only one who really made an effort! But we all had a good laugh anyway before heading out to a club which was fantastic.

Did get my ear chewed off by one tenant though-not because of his house but his housemates! May have to sort it out tomorrow.

Also managed to get a girl to stroke my foot. I promise that this is not some weird fetish of mine; she'd stood on my foot and stroked my arm to apologise-at which point I said that my arm was fine and it was my foot she'd stood on! So she stroked my foot!

"If I had a six foot penis I'd be famous..........and you'd be next door!" = my favourite quote from last night.

Low-profiled it-did go out but promised myself not to go to the club; almost broke my promise but kept it in the end.

I did however get chatted up from the soon-to-be-ex wife of a friend! Granted he's not a close friend but it was still slightly odd. For me anyway-she didn't seem to care.....but then I have a feeling/suspicious that her soon-to-be-ex husband/my friend is seeing, or soon will be seeing, an ex of mine so maybe it all balances out!

I had a good talk to her anyway and found out some of her side of the story, as previously I'd only heard my friends' side. They both agree that it was her decision to get divorced certainly-he's much much more bitter that she is! She found it hilarious when I told her that they were the first people I knew to get divorced and thus she was the benchmark. In fact-her number (don't ask) is stored in my phone as "Benchmark".

Unfortunately I have literally just remembered the conversation we had about vibrators- she has 5 apparently which I queried! They were listed and that's about all I remember at the moment. I fear more may come back to me later.....

Saw VM again today and she was back to normal which was good. Sometimes I take things too personally tbh and this was a good example of that.

My mum made me feeling incredibly guilty about ST last night; so I made a concerted effort to be nice and chatty on the way to work. And I think it worked generally-she seemed to be in a better mood than normal certainly. Havign said that I had another "feet not touching the ground" day so wasn't always in and around the office.

Went to lunch with MM; who is the same as always. Though she did get back together with her on/off boyfriend "Chicken". She claims to be heartless (and in fact enjoys it when I call her this) but I've warned her that one day someone will break her heart and she'll understand the rest of us.

Am going out tonight but taking it easy as we';re going "all in" tomorrow.....