Here I Go Again (On My Own)

Just read the 'offence' and if you've done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you've read each 'offence' and added up your total fine. When you are done post this as: "My fine is £..."

Smoked pot -- £10

Did acid -- £5

Ever had sex at church -- £25

Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- £40

Had sex with someone on Facebook -- £25

Had sex for money -- £100

Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- £20

Vandalized something -- £20

Had sex on your parents' bed -- £10

Beat up someone -- £20

Been jumped -- £10

Cross dressed -- £10

Given money to stripper -- £25

Been in love with a stripper -- £20

Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- £0.10

Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- £15

Ever drive and drank -- £20

Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- £50

Used toys while having sex -- £30

Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- £20

Went skinny dipping -- £5

Had sex in a pool -- £20

Kissed someone of the same sex -- £10

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- £20

Done oral -- £5

Enjoyed giving oral -- £5

Got oral -- £5

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- £25

Stole something -- £10

Had sex with someone in jail -- £25

Made a nasty home video -- £15

Had a threesome -- £50

Had sex in the wild -- £20

Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- £25

Stole something worth over more than a hundred pounds -- £20

Had sex with someone 10 years older -- £20

Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- £25

Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- £50

Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- £25

Went streaking -- £5

Went streaking in broad daylight -- £15

Been arrested -- £5

Spent time in jail -- £15

Peed in the pool -- £0.50

Played spin the bottle -- £5

Done something you regret -- £20

Had sex with your best friend -- £20

Had sex with someone you work with whilst at work -- £25

Had anal sex -- £80

Lied to your mate -- £5

Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- £25

Tally it up and title it: "My Fine Is..." copy and paste, then repost!

Like many many many other people (I suspect) I got the leaked version of U2's new album 'No Line On The Horizon' today. And it's not a disappointment although U2 could perform a shopping list and make it sound good! Personally I think Bono has the best voice from of any singer alive, and only ever surpassed by Freddie Mercury from the deceased.

Anyway, I digress as is my want. The albums good, todays title is the choice lyric picked out on first listen. The whole album is very U2-esque to be honest and mirrors a lot of their previous songs. Plus there is a song that sounds a bit like Stone Roses covering Led Zeppelin.

Tracklist is:
1. No Line On The Horizon
2. Magnificent
3. Moment of Surrender
4. Unknown Caller
5. I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight
6. Get On Your Boots
7. Stand Up Comedy
8. Fez Being Born
9. White As Snow
10. Breathe
11. Cedars Of Lebanon

Breathe is classic U2 with some great Lennon/Beatles references. Not sure about Fez Being Born...

Oh, and in case you are wondering I have pre-ordered a legal copy of the CD from Amazon so I feel justified in downloading it.

Hmm, it would seem that one of my favourite albums (U2's Achtung Baby') has been worn out by overplayment! I'm trying to rip it to MP3 as I type but fear the worst!

Have removed all references to the song I sent to LT on v-day as it dawned on me that, should she choose to come looking, it may lead her straight here. And that wouldn't be great.

But damnit I can't figure her out! A normal person, after sending flowers to someone they find incredibly attractive, would probably then ask said person out on a date! But then I'm not renouned for ever doing anything normally. For example on saturday I was a high as a kite after the whole-spontaneous sending of flowers moment and stayed that was for the rest of the....well I still am actually. Granted I did my usual trick of talking utter nonsense to lots of strangers (men and women it should be pointed out). For example:

Told Girl #1 I was a comedian. When she asked me to tell her a joke I said I wasn't working as it was the weekend! When she laughed at this I said "now imagine how much you'd laugh if I was working!". Granted I'm quite proud of that but I didn't care about the girl.

Same thing with Girl #2. Not unattractive admittedly. I sat knelt down holding her hand (in a proposing kind of pose now I think about it) and talking to her for about 10 minutes. I can't remember very much of what was said but I do remember telling her my name, where I lived, a brief description of my stupid facebook picture atm and that if she looked me up I'd tell her the best joke in the world-then I left! At one point she even mentioned that I was sat on the floor which if I had been of a more sober mind I might have taken as an invitation to sit down next to her on the comfy sofa upon which she was sat.

But I didn't care! This situation requires me to trend very very carefully indeed and I need female perspective on this one. It's a lot more complicated than what I have revealed here.....

...oh an Achtung Baby is properly screwed and refuses to play beyond track #9. Arse!

So it's *that* day again. This time last year I was in Spain and the year before that I was in Vietnam.

I'm not sad, I'm not bitter. I'm actually feeling great today; very very glad that I'm not with JW anymore although I would probably be in Cuba today if I was! And that's the only downside of us splitting up.

Anyway, I'm not here to dwell on the past but to ponder the future. And an interesting one it might be.....I'll get there.....

Went to a jam night and played with RM again last night. Once again we stole the show with 2 short sets that comprised A Hard Day's Night, Overwhelming Me, I Dreamt I Told A Joke..., Help! then My GF's Dead, Free World, our patented Carrie-Anne ~ La Bamba ~ Twist And Shout medley then Johnny B. Goode ~ Dizzy Miss Lizzy. Rock! KA was there, had a brief chat.

Went to club afterwards. Did the old aftershock challenge with the girl who introduced it to me. Also did same challenge with someone who claimed to be called Jane but was blatantly obviously lying! And I refrained from sleeping with someone whom I definitely shouldn't by saying various things about myself that were not true! And I'm sooo glad I did today as it worked.

Actually I hate myself sometimes. I hate myself for last night despite kind of doing the right thing. But I shouldn't get into these situations in the first place. I digress...

...woke up this morning. Got myself a gun. No wait.....that's a song. I did wake up this morning though-to a simple text message from LT asking how I was. The only thing that makes me wonder about said message is the timing. I have a great friendship with her; she is one of the most secretive people I know yet she told me something she's only ever told one other person and that was her "boyfriend" of the time. Anyway, I responded, blah blah blah etc. As I was still drunk I decided to send a rough demo of the song I wrote about her and I ('MI').

a) she liked it!
b) She was especially thankful as she said it had been long time since she'd received a gift on valentine's day! Bearing in mind that this is probably the best looking woman on the planet and you can imagine how shocked I was. So shocked in fact that I went straight on the internet and sent her some flowers. Ordered at 11:30am; delivered at 2:30pm. Pretty good service to say the least.

I might be a cock sometimes but every now and then I do do the right thing. The strange thing is that before I'd even got the text message from LT I'd boldly claimed on facebook that "very very very occasionally I do the right thing". Then I went and did just that!

That's why I'm feeling great. I'd rather be single and happy on valentine's day than coupled up and sad. I forgot to mentioned that JW and I argued, or more accurately I got repeatedly shouted at for various things in both Vietnam (07) and Spain (08). And I'm pretty confident I would have got shouted at today too.

Happy Valentines Day y'all x

Somewhat daunting audition with the band last night; got the venue which was a boxing club (which I knew beforehand) but didn't actually think there would be boxers there! So I sang in front of four completely new musicians, plus a room full of 30 or so boxers who should have been training but regularly stopped to listen! I had my back to them at least!

Anyway, this made me try twice as hard! The guys in the band seemed to like me although my timing/knowledge of the songs wasn't perfect I could hit the notes at least-which put me ahead of anyone they'd tried so far...! Even made it through Jet's 'Are You Gonna Be My Girl' which is tricky to say the least! Anyway, they have a couple of other people coming down but I'm fairly optimistic in all honesty; my main concern (or theirs more accurately as it doesn't bother me) is that I have a 40 minute drive to where they all live. So we'll see-I'll know one way or another fairly soon.

And that's about all really. But it's so exciting I don't care right now....

Well, the good news is that CE is no longer a one night stand; yes I did it again. Again we hung out all day today. In bed. She is nice, suitably quirky, good looking etc I just don't see anything coming out of it and at my age(!) I think I should be thinking about settling down, or at least not wasting my (and the other persons') time. That sound really harsh I know but I mean well.

Had another random night out with CA, who confessed that he is "knobbing" CM. But she wasn't out and we had a good laugh. I was left to look after a 17 year old girl, KA, who had wound up in the club and been abandoned by her friend who had pulled! This poor girl had never been to the club before, was worried about getting thrown out for being underage and was generally not comfortable! At least she now knows that she likes neither tequila nor sambuka. Oh, and despite thinking that my name was Earl she found me on the facebook today! Which is a bit scary really. Anyway, she relaxed a bit and seemed to enjoy herself.

I declined an offer to meet her mother who was also in the club, though I did wave. Her mum is 39 which freaked me out slightly to say the least.

Todays title is my quote from last night after meeting KA's friend who is best described as odd looking. Not ugly, not attractive; think Sophie Ellis Bextor-esque. I can't explain the quote or the logic but it was (and still is to me) hilarious!

Have recorded a good demo of 'Question Everything' of which I am very pleased. 2009's CD is shaping up to be the best yet with the quality of songs I'm writing at the moment. I played it for CE last night; she liked it but asked who the female doing back vocals was. She laughed when I said it was me. Curiously AL also asked the exact same thing about one of previous CDs.

ST and VD broke up again on saturday but they seem to be back together now. Won't waste any more space on that topic. Other than ST said my voice was very "listen-to-able" when I send him a song on saturday whilst trying to cheer him up!

Sorry folks...been very busy and haven't been blogging much. Having said that there's not much to report!

I've recording a demo of 'MI' of which I am quite pleased; it needs a few tweaks but once they are done I shall send it to LT to amuse her! See one of my previous posts if you want the story of the song...

Also think I might have solved the problem with one of my tenants who was concerned (erroneously I believe) that his housemates were breaking int his room and reading his emails, seeing what websites he'd been to etc. Believe it may be related to VM and myself and erm....his bi/gayness. Not sure but that's the most logical answer we've established in t'office!

I'm completely up to date with Lost. No spoilers but Episode 3 of Season 5 was one of the best episodes I've seen. And #4 was pretty good too! I've also found out that I have only seen half of Season 16 of "The Simpsons" so I've been enjoying some "new" episodes of that and I'm getting into "Burn Notice" with the unmistakably brilliant Bruce Campbell. Good stuff indeed.....

So no work for me today; outside it looks like a Hallmark Christmas of which I intend to get a picture if I can.

Bad news is that I might not be able to make the band audition I was supposed to be attending tonight. I'm hoping the weather will clear up a bit but fear the worst.

Recorded a rough demo of 'MI' last night which sounds ok so far. One aspect of all my songs that I really need to work on is the backing vocals - I struggle for ideas and inspiration in this area much more than any other, with the possible exception of bass but I don't claim to be a bass player so I have a good excuse for that...

...although I did do a fine job on the bass overdubs for 'What Do You Do With Your Ghosts' last week of which I am proud! Definitely my best bass playing to date.

This morning I have found out that a couple who live in one of my houses have split up. They have been going out for a very long time and I'm quite surprised tbh-they always seemed very close but I don't really know them that well. I guess I'm surprised because the male half (PE) came in the office just last week to ask about their accommodation and to ask to extend the contract.

12 days to Valentines Day. I expect no cards and don't intend to send any!

This morning, whilst watching tv with JS (we'll get to her shortly) I remembered that I ate a dog biscuit on friday night! I was sat with a dog at the time and A brought a treat over for the dog-but gave it to me instead! My hair is very glossy today and I wonder if that is why....

Dunno what happened to CA last night; got a text late afternoon saying he'd be out around 9:30 and that was the last I heard. Had to use AB as a wingman instead which was......interesting. Granted he's good at getting me to talk to people but at the same time he scares their friends away!

So anyway, I was talking to a girl, lets call her Amy (for that was her name) and through the course of our conversation (including mutual hair complimenting) we established that she wishes to join the army. And that's when I went on my little rant about the army, the air force, Margaret Thatcher, Obama, the Middle East, the middle Earth and gravity. I jest not. I call this my political rant and I infrequently break it out; and only to those I think can take it. Which Amy could....unfortunately her friend was getting more and more uncomfortably with AB and dragged Amy away before any conclusions could be drawn. But I like to think I made a difference.

Earlier on I joined BD and his partner for her birthday celebrations. Having been introduced to 15 new people I immediately proceeded to forget all their names. Except Dave who I referred to as my constant a la Lost. Oh, and a girl named Sarah who claimed to be wearing a coat made from beaver and therefore asked "if I wanted to stroke her beaver" I did. She declined an offer to counter-stroke my hair which she described as "glossy" (again-thanks to the dog biscuit no doubt).

I was also stopped by another complete stranger who was very complimentary and asked when the band were playing again; I told him March.....hopefully. And I really hope I'm not lying. Haven't seen MB for a bit though but I assume he's still up for it.

Anyway, post-club AB, JS and myself wound up back at my house for more drinks. Plus we ate the chilli I cooked last night which was delicious. Unfortunately it was also supposed to be my lunch today! Ah well.

About 4am, having bagged my spare room earlier, JS announced that she was going to sleep. AB decided he was going to sleep with her. I went to bed.

Woke up this morning with JS beside me and no sign whatsoever of AB! I don't actually know what occurred between them but I suspect absolutely nothing. JS has no idea when or why AB left but I'm guessing she rejected him and his advances-which would also explain why she was in my bed.

All very complicated; I believe and accuse AB of "cockblocking"! Gotta love that term!

Anyway I looked after JS this morning (she is only 18 bless her) as she was horrifically hungover and had to go to work at 12. So I made her coffee, bacon sandwiches etc as best I could. I'm willing to bet she is still suffering though.

Funny thing was that while I walked her to work we saw someone doing in the infamous "walk of shame" which I commented on, then had to explain. Two minutes who should I see doing the said walk of shame than CM! How I laughed.....

Quick question; if you received a message (on facebook) on Tuesday that said "It's my birthday next week-are you coming out on Friday for a drink?" or something like that-when would you turn up? The Friday that was 3 days away or the Friday after?

The correct answer is the Friday that is 3 days away. The logical answer is the next Friday.

Anyway, the above explains why I was a few hours late in going to someones birthday party last night. Knowing I was going out tonight I was kinda relieved to have a quiet one last night until I got a text about 9:30 asking why I wasn't out! And everyone had a jolly good laugh (both at and with me) when I explained why I was late!

Still a good night was had by all and I met some new people who seemed pretty cool. Also saw another ex of mine who I haven't seen for about 5 years-she was a rebound gf and can only be described as a mistake. Didn't speak to her last night at all-not deliberately there just never seemed to be a suitable opportunity.

Perhaps surprisingly I have not heard from CE at all. Suspect she may be out tonight but definitely (hopefully?) not on the pub crawl that is the birthday party I'm attending. The problem with a town with one club is that if you go there you are likely to run into the same people should they be there. As always, drink is the answer......